Well, nothing's happened yet. This is just some text for the new 'this year' tags to point to. I saw Sherlock Holmes. I guess that might count as news? It's not too bad. Quite a lot of fun. The only problem was that every time someone said his name, I thought for a brief moment they were sarcastically pointing out that something was obvious.
Friday 22nd January 2010
This was the view from the balcony of my third-floor apartment in Riverside, California two days ago. It's been raining like this all week, with brief respite to grab the children from the streets before the torrential downpour begins anew. This would count as SNAFU in Ireland, but over here, people go crazy. I remember a few years ago when they had the equivalent of three days of constant drizzle and some houses in Santa Clarita fell over. Granted, as you can see, it's a bit worse than drizzle, but it's still just rain. Nevertheless, a state of emergency has been declared in Los Angeles County, Orange County, San Bernardino County, Siskiyou County and my own Riverside County.
At least over here, weather means something. It's hot and dry for nine cloudless months and then - BAM! - torrential downpour for a week (so far). In Ireland, the five-day forecast for any month can look like variety, but all these phrases say essentially the same thing: 'sunny spells'; 'some showers'; 'partly cloudy'; 'changeable'; and my personal favourite, 'becoming milder'.
Sunday 1st August 2010
And so I have moved from my mountain retreat of Castlerock to live with people again. Back into the city. The noise, the lights, the squalor, the dirt, all of humanity's worst failings compressed so tight you can feel it every time you inhale. I have returned to where black people amble down the street in an asymmetric fashion, Mexicans roll along the sidewalk on bicycles that are way too small, and white people sit in the back of pick-up trucks parked in front yards and make out.
I was already in a squitty mood, due to spending most of my day lifting boxes of my books down three flights of stairs in 95 degree heat. After my last trip back to Castlerock, I made the mistake of leaving the bathroom door ajar. This allowed Leonard (my stupid dog) access to the trash can, the contents of which he proceeded to sort into its constituent parts, mainly by chewability, but also roughly by size. The smaller parts were thrown around the living room floor in a lovely pattern reminiscent of a Buddhist mandala, whereas the larger items of trash were distributed evenly on each step of the stairs. Also, there was a little gift for me on the carpet, thoughtfully wrapped in dog shit. Thanks, Leonard.
That night, sleep came reluctantly.
1:30 am - Leonard making some sort of weird noise. The kind of noise that should not be coming from a dog. I'd probably investigate if I wasn't in the twilight zone and needed some serious sleep.
2:00 am - An almight itch heralds the dawn of some new mosquito bites. Despite locking my windows tight (which made my room much hotter than it needed to be), and taking various other precautions, the dirty little bitches managed to get in and drink my sweet, delicious, iron-rich blood. Horses have salt licks right? Can't we get blood licks for these things and leave them outside? I don't mind donating to the cause, I just don't like being itchy as hell for three days afterwards.
4:00 am - I wake to sounds of a child screaming from one of the apartments behind us. Then the sound of some parents slapping the shit out of him, which seemed to make him worse. This definitely qualifies as the sort of abuse you should report to Child Protection Services, but as I said I was very sleepy, not thinking clearly, and I might have been hallucinating. In the morning, none of the four other people in the house reported anything untoward.
4:30 am - People having sex. Loud sex, across the walkway. Normally in this situation I'd take photos and sell them to some sleazy website, but this time I just don't care. I want some sleep!
6:00 am - Leonard whines his intention to be let out. He won't stop until someone lets him out.
Altogether, I got about two or three hours of actual sleep. This will not do!