Operation Butthurt (First Sequence)I joined the Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums (EDF) more or less as soon as they opened, in September 2009, and quickly established myself as the most entertaining and well-loved poster on the boards. As is the pattern for me, some of the people in charge got butthurt very fast. This set a pattern of being banned over and over for pretty much daring to question the management. Update: Non-ban EDF gallery and Anti-troll Resource Page. 
As soon as it had a solid userbase, EDF was used as a fundraiser for the main Encyclopedia Dramatica site. In fact, a cynical observer might conclude, given the aggressive manner it's being pushed, that money was the primary purpose of EDF all along. One gambit is selling special member accounts which had secret features. I pointed out some obvious problems that they might have and suggested explaining those features. This was met with hostility, indifference, and a ban. 
This was a bit rich coming from a guy who seemed to spend his entire time following me around different threads looking for reasons to ban me. My advice to you: do your fucking job. 
The only people who considered it "whining" were the admins. Everyone else thought it was hilarious, or didn't care one way or the other. 
Yeah, it says "Never", but a quick trip to the IRC channel fixed it. I didn't ask to be unbanned, by the way. Someone just said "Oh, you're banned. I'll fix that." I never really took it seriously, which was probably a mistake on my part. I had already discussed with Sheneequa that one of the major strengths of the site was the regular, temporary bans. I still believe that (although she may have changed her mind; I don't know). 
Even the admins don't know why they're banning me now. 
The lulz behind this ban will become evident once you understand that banned posters are prevented at an IP address level from seeing any threads. It was around this time that I started referring to Cash as a pigeon. I really thought that he wasn't that sensitive. He tries so hard to be a tough guy on the boards (unlike dramacrat, who actually is), I believed him! 
My bans are getting more obscure. This one made me feel like a spy in Eastern Europe. I felt like I should answer "Yes, but everyone likes cakes in the summer." 
Sometimes the admins can smell defeat in the air and try to nip it in the bud. I was making one of them look stupid on a thread. Originally, it was accidental, but when I detected admin butthurt, I sort of went in for the kill. In other words, this would be one of those rare bans that I actually deserved. I think it's cute that we're meeting for coffee tomorrow though. 
This was sort of embarrassing for Cash. He frequently complained (he's gotten a lot better since) about the quality of threads and posters and so on, with nothing at all in the way of constructive advice or criticism. He often mistook his unhelpful ignorance for brusque charm (and my god he's not the only one). I pointed out that I could train a parrot to do what he did, and he came back with this ban. I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean. Maybe he's never had to actually train a dog. Operation Butthurt (Second Sequence): "Daddy, what does 'Never' mean?"The many bans perplexed not only me, but anyone who was paying attention. Eventually, the Admins asked themselves what everyone had been asking and permabanned me. Over and over. 
Well, one of us was surprised. 
This is great. I can picture the expression on his face as he issued this ban, desperately hoping that THIS TIME PLEASE GOD LET IT STICK. 
10 July 2010: When the question was thrown open to the pigeons as to what this particular ban was for, Thuzadian implied that it was a correction of an earlier oversight on her part when she accidentally unbanned me. This is probably a joke, but it serves to demonstrate that maybe there's something else going on here. Also, I was back posting on EDF again within the hour, so 8-) to you too, mate. 
11 July 2010: I realise this looks the same as the last one, but it's actually a separate ban. My earlier accusations of a petty vendetta are bearing fruit. If Thuzadian was serious and not joking, then this represents a "correction" of a correction of a "correction" of a correction. Mmm... Shining. I made about four posts between this ban and the last one, and the only one that could have caused any trouble at all was when I called D-Malice a piece of mierda. Things are getting pretty bad on EDF when the Admins rush to the defence of D-Malice. 
23 January 2011: And the lulz keep delivering. Cash offered to unban someone nominated by the peasants. Naturally, they nominated me. As I don't go there, I would never have found out but for some kind citizens emailing me. Assuming it was some sort of boring ruse, I posted two posts, one on a thread about Five Guys restaurant, and one in a thread specifically asking for my input asking for a tl;dr of the previous ten months on EDF. A ban was almost immediately delivered, as outlined above. There were some who held me to account when I doubted Cash's ability to keep his word when it came to me. The nature and purpose of my bans should now be clear to all. In other news, it is with no small sadness that I notice the degradation of the EDF boards, whose apparent coming demise is being lamented in many threads. These boards really had the potential to take over the internet, but got caught up in what they themselves refer to as "circle-jerk", meaning inveterate cliquism coupled with a noticeable lack of creativity or originality, the death of all boards. Well done, my good and faithful servant. Good night, sweet prince. The rest is silence. Update: New non-ban EDF gallery now open! |