Fake Words

In honour of The Deeper Meaning of Liff, I decided to invent new words for things we all know about but can't describe concisely, and then post them on my LiveJournal. It started with just one (Sigourney), but more recently, I've tried to increase the lulz-per-square-inch.

For the first time, here is the entire collection of Fake Words, in alphabetical order and slightly edited, the way they were never intended to be displayed.

Carpool Tunnel Syndrome - The vague suspicion that comes over you, when the carpool lane diverges from the main highway (as it does at the 91W/55S and the 5N/405W junctions in Los Angeles, for instance), that you're not going to end up where you expect.

Cood - The facial expression of someone who was mistakenly expecting you to be surprised by something he's just told you.

Circumdawdle - to prepare for something, even though you have no intention of actually going through with it.

Circumdoodle - to prepare for something you strongly suspect will never happen.

Dyshit (pronounced DISS-hit, not DIE-shit) - something or someone that's famous for being absolutely awful.

Eterbally - in the manner of a rocking chair right after someone gets off it. "The ship was tossed around eterbally."

Groocy - (doing something while) dirty, and not caring.

Jidding - claiming, after someone's feelings have been hurt, or to avert a possible violent episode, that you were just kidding, when you obviously weren't.

Juddow - one of the slew of mid-2000s generic, highly formulaic comedy movies starring some combination of Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Jason Siegel, Jonah Hill, Jay Baruchel and Christopher Mintz-Plasse, usually involving Judd Apatow in some way.

Helsinki Syndrome - Realising that you've been calling something by the wrong name for so long that you might as well just stick to it.

Kinkesque - sort of kinky but not really, or expressive of the wish to be kinkier than you are.

Loddle - a noise which occurs only in the night time when everything else is quiet; it might be a gentle clicking, or a light rattle of some sort; it occurs intermittently, and seems to be sensitive to your efforts to track it down.

Machina Nervosa - A strange feeling that some piece of automatic equipment (an automatic door at a supermarket, an escalator, the baggage carousel, a new traffic light etc.) will mysteriously stop working when it's your turn.

Peeble - that annoying, repetitive, regular high-pitched tone on a sunny afternoon which indicates that somewhere, a giant truck is reversing.

Right Blindness - the inability (or unwillingness) of someone in authority to notice when he has lost an argument.

Scrimble - to go off topic on an internet message board and turn a thread into a series of pointless wisecracks.

Scrimble Blight - the tendency for scrimbling (q.v.) to spread across threads and forums.

Scrimblebitch - a poster or Admin who complains about scrimbling without actually providing any quality content himself.

Scrimblefudge - the panicked efforts of an Admin or mod to get the thread back on-topic without killing what looks like the most interesting thread on the board.

Shobby - A hobby at which, despite countless hours over many years devoted thereunto, you're no good.

Sigourney - a chick who's too old to be hot now, but whom you would imagine to have been attractive when she was young. However, on investigation, she turns out not to have been.

Sliddy - attractive in a particularly futuristic way. "Have you seen the new iMac? It's really sliddy!"

Slired - the condition whereby you're too tired to do anything about a loddle (q.v.); but not sleepy enough to ignore it and drop off. © Christina J. Park

Sluddism - the opposite of charisma.

Snirk - to place an item on a shelf where you know it doesn't belong (esp. in a supermarket).

Spicious - not so much too spicy, but too much of the wrong spice, or a bad mix of spices that makes no sense to your tastebuds. © L. Huong Ta

Stockholm Syndrome by Proxy - hearing or reading about a kidnapping and identifying more with the kidnappers than the victim.

Tanta Mount - A girl with whom you came very close to having sex, but never did, due to time constraints, intervention of her husband, last minute attack of conscience, etc. It will never happen now, and you will always wonder. A true tanta mount will, if you're still in contact, hint at potential future couplings to boost her ego, even though you both know the sad, lonely truth.

Titanica - The vague feeling that you're going to dislike something just because everyone else likes it so much.

Torhetical Question - a question which you are refusing to answer for reasons of your own.

Twinching - following someone around different social networks and adding them to your contact list.

Typhot - a form of typographical error where you mistype an entire word instead of just a letter; for instance "open the willow" instead of "open the window".

Willerson - one of the slew of late 90s/early 2000s generic, highly formulaic comedy movies starring some combination of Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughan and John C. Reilly.

Whino - someone who is, it seems, addicted to complaining, and might suffer serious withdrawal symptoms should that facility be denied them. Health, annoying workmates, stupid boyfriends: everything's always going horribly wrong, it's always someone else's fault, and they never shut up about it. The kind of person who doesn't understand that other people don't give a shit, and the correct response to "How are things?" is "Fine thanks, you?" A true whino will also never ask about you, or care about anything that happens to you, but if he does, it will merely serve to render the more acute by comparison the sufferings of the whino.

Wozzed - briefly stunned, or surprised, by how little you care about something.

Yoogling - searching for something on YouTube.

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