Everything You Need To Have A ConversationPublished in Itch Magazine 5th May 2007 It is only since the mid-1990s that Ireland has been a prosperous country. Before that, we were more or less a communist state with a depressed economy, high interest rates, and labour our biggest export. Now we have booming software and pharmaceutical industries, and for the first time in ever, a large immigrant population. Fancy that - people actually coming in here to work! We're still getting used to the idea. However, our booming economy is dragging some pretty shameful statistics after it for a country that always regarded itself as a socialist democracy. All governments have to do a balancing act among the public services: the economy (including infrastructure); the health service; the education system; and defence (in Ireland's case, defence is irrelevant because we are ostensibly a neutral country). In America, they emphasise the economy and defence to the detriment of the other services. In Cuba, they emphasise health and education and let the economy go to hell. In Ireland, we have flipped from Cuba to America in less than ten years, and our health service in particular is feeling the pinch. Nurses are organising strikes, as are consultants, due to underfunding and poor conditions. Brave indeed is the man who will challenge the might of the moneymongers in big industries to do something about this. Irish people are remarkably cynical about the political process, even by the standards of regular cynicism. The idea that a candidate might have the best interests of the community at heart is regarded as almost ridiculous. Hence, if anyone around you mentions the election, or politics at all, it is best to open your contribution with a resigned sigh. You can mix and match these phrases, which are arranged in order from the national to the local:
On the 24th May we're having a general election up in here. It should be interesting, because it looks as though this is one of the few times that a government will be formed by someone other than Fianna Fail, who have been more or less running the state since the dawn of time (1921). Like in most countries, sometime it's hard to tell the difference between the parties sometimes. Here are some you may come across, and what they mean. Fianna Fail - this is the biggest party in the state, and it's always been that way. They are more or less centre-left, but recently, due to a coalition with the Progressive Democrats, they have lurched to the right in an unseemly fashion. People are getting sick of them now, not so much because of their wealth-creating policies, but because they're too familiar. Fine Gael - this is the second-biggest party, although in common with most opposition parties in democracies over the last few years, they have forgotten what it means to be in opposition. Traditionally they have been centre-right, but it's been so long since they've been in government, no one knows what that means. Labour - this party is supposed to draw its power from the unions and other voluntary organisations. Of course, in practice, they'll do what they have to do to get elected. Progressive Democrats - despite polling about 6% every time there's an election, a coalition with Fianna Fail has ensured a gravity-defying influence over government policy. The PDs are right wing, sometimes in a very scary way. They're probably the most right-wing party in government in Europe.
Green Party - they love the trees. Don't we all? Sinn Féin - a lot of people think that Sinn Féin are unelectable because they have strong links to those lovable rogues, the IRA. In reality, they are unelectable because of their openly Marxist policies. We like our money too much in Ireland to vote Marxist now. In Northern Ireland, their appeal is broader, as they have been fighting a war there since 1969. Never try to discuss Northern Ireland with Irish people. Even they don't fully understand what's going on, and it could result in consternation. Just don't. If someone brings it up with you, keep acting stupid, and let him rant. |