Safe Words

Deckard Cain is well know in Tristram and outlying areas as a safe pair of hands, and no one can touch his Lobster Thermidor. As such, during potentially risky BDSM sexplay, he wants you to pick a safe word that is equal to the task. Here are his recommendations, from years of beating the crap out of impressionable younger girls who beg him for more. Stay a while, and listen.

  1. "Watermelon"
  2. "Jacuzzi"
  3. "Man the Harpoons" (© Jaewon)
  4. "Eclipse"
  5. "Sonic the Hedgehog"
  6. "Mr. Lebowksi" (© Philip)
  7. "Zeitgeist"
  8. "Ginger Ale" (© Tiffany)
  9. "Oklahoma"
  10. "Scrotum" (© Christina)
  11. (your suggestion to solo1@eircom.net)

Some things to avoid:

  • Words that are too damn long like "antidisestablishmentarianism" are not going to work. If you can't say it in a single frenzied gasp, just forget about it. Also, strange Latin names for animals like like "streptococcus thermophilus" are just stupid. Even if you are in a position to remember that sort of thing, it makes you a smart ass, which kind of goes against the point.

  • Words that are not technically words, such as "38717406724370343" or humming the tune from the second movement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, are inviting misadventure.

  • Vague taunts are generally not the best idea. Using something like “Is that the best you can do?” or “That was amateurish” is just asking for trouble.

  • Words that are exclamatory and sometimes involuntary, such as "OW!" or "I can't take any more!" are sometimes seen as encouragement.

  • Words or phrases that are in a strange tense such as: the subjunctive tense (“it’s as though my head were on fire” or “would that the whip were assuaged”); the gerund ("noticing the pain, I winced" etc.); or the abstract vocative ("O cynicism!").

  • Best to leave "Go fuck yourself" to BDSMers with many years experience.