Twitter is one of those things that doesn't make much sense until you have one. Every user is expected to regularly provide text-message style updates of what they're doing, or to share something they think their friends might want to see. And that's it. As you accumulate friends, you start to notice trends in usage, and can fine-tune your contact list accordingly. These are some of Twitter accounts I recommend:
Feb 20 2010 #questionsfromkids "How come sandwiches don't fly?"
Feb 19 2010 99 problems but 2X^2 + 4X - 16 = 0 ain't one.
Feb 17 2010 I'm one of those rare people who LOVES to say "I told you so."
Feb 15 2010 just figured out I can block people to stop them seeing my updates. TAKE THAT, person who can't read this.
Feb 14 2010 I Googled your name and it just came back: "No."
Feb 12 2010 How come the piracy warnings are ONLY on the DVDs I've bought legally?
Feb 9 2010 This is my 600th tweet. Love me or fuck off.
Feb 9 2010 @simonpegg The pilot [of Caprica] disappointed me greatly. I watch BSG for spaceships and robots, not tense family drama.
Feb 7 2010 Typical fucking Americans. They couldn't just have a regular Bowl. It has to be a SuperBowl.
Feb 4 2010 @Mike_Kiely They're [HTML 5] taking out the only tags I use! Fuck CSS.
Jan 28 2010 If lightening is the anger of the gods, then the gods are concerned mostly about trees.
Jan 26 2010 will always like you more than you like him.
Jan 24 2010 Apparently this is going viral: http://tinyurl.com/yknc2x7
Jan 21 2010 Oh come on, it wasn't that bad. It's not as bad as my 9/11 joke, perhaps ill-advisedly making its debut on 9/11/02. In New York.
Jan 14 2010 #newoldjokes Chuck Norris can read Lady Gaga's Pokerface.
Jan 10 2010 Only two acceptable wah-wah situations: stripper pole instructional videos; the 70s.
Jan 10 2010 Who's the nicest man in the hospital? The ultra-sound man.
Jan 8 2010 @neilhimself RE: Lady Gaga - Dr. Dre is not a real doctor! Do not let him touch you in your special place!
Best of 2009's Tweets
Dec 30 2009 Slept through the alarm this morning. Lucky it was only a small fire.
Dec 27 2009 managed to make it through another social event without getting beaten up.
Dec 4 2009 is never going on a bouncy castle again. I'm too old for this shit.
Nov 27 2009 just got banned from another board. Christ knows what would happen if I was actually *trying* to be objectionable.
Nov 21 2009 Why don't hedgehogs just share the hedge?
Nov 21 2009 @ChicaLolita Anyone who actually likes being awake probably isn't paying enough attention.
Nov 12 2009 #indiemoviecliche weird job or forced personality defect instead of writing a convincing character.
Nov 2 2009 #unseenprequels Indiana Jones and the Penultimate Crusade.
Oct 30 2009 @serafinowicz I WILL NEVER UNFOLLOW YOU!
Oct 24 2009 #oneletteroffmovies Minger Snaps
Oct 23 2009 #oneletteroffmovies Two Gays in the Valley
Oct 21 2009 @DAVID_LYNCH Just watched Mulholland Drive, and I have some questions. Just kidding.
Oct 1 2009 Freelance, non-denominational atheist.
Sept 25 2009 @brianclayton I can't believe they've already made four sequels to District 9.
Sept 19 2009 #punchlineswithnojokesyet Well, my grandmother was in the holocaust, so the only baking she did was in the intransitive sense.
Sept 15 2009 I'm really shit at peer pressure. How does it work again?
2009 #ihatewhengirlssay "I wish my boyfriend was more like you." Screw you, whore. You had your chance.
Sept 8 2009 The answer to any question starting "Does it make me a racist if..." is "Yes."
Aug 25 2009 The Beatles: The only band where "I prefer their earlier work" makes you sound like an idiot.
Aug 20 2009 is looking for some new community art project for my site, now that the PostSatires are dead. Suggestions please.
Aug 18 2009 I hate US TV shows where the lead guy is always right about everything, every week, but his workmates never believe him. Every week.
Aug 14 2009 Sports cars are getting smaller and smaller. I got hit by one this afternoon and I had to go to the hospital to have it removed.
Aug 7 2009 Cats having sex last night. Sounded like a sleepless baby being dragged across a piece of wet glass.
Aug 1 2009 Do any of you really think that putting your profile photo through a green filter is helping anyone in Iran?
Jul 27 2009 thinks irony-blindness should be a registered disability.
Jul 21 2009 #lameclaimtofame I was the first person in Ireland to contract diphtheria since 1965.
Jul 4 2009 predicts everything will carry on in much the same vein after 2012.
Jun 19 2009 #irishmovies Spiddal Tap
Jun 17 2009 #nicerfilmtitles Escort Me To Hell
Jun 15 2009 I used to be nostalgic but now I'm not so sure. Oh, hang on, no - that's "indecisive". Never mind.
Jun 8 2009 If moths are so attracted to light, why don't they just get up during the day?
Jun 1 2009 Someone asked me the difference between ignorance and apathy. I told her I don't know and I don't care.
May 11 2009 @blearyboy Marriage? Been there, done that, was forced to give her 50% of the t-shirt.
May 7 2009 "busy as a bee"? I saw a bee screwing around on a wall today, obviously avoiding whatever had to be done.
May 3 2009 @MixieDoll That's how Twitter works. You message someone. They answer you. You die a little inside.
Apr 29 2009 That reminds me. I must get my poetic license renewed.
Apr 27 2009 The difference between a jazz guitarist and a rock guitarist? Thousands of people will show up to hear a rock guitarist play three chords...
Apr 27 2009 @Glinner Remember back when "Friends" was funny? Me either.
Apr 25 2009 If a girl offers you some fish and you're in the middle of a desert in Iraq, she's probably a prostitute.
Apr 25 2009 If you Google "solo1"+drama, you get a bunch of hits from various message boards that refer to me. That can't be good. Right?
Apr 22 2009 Overestimating the limited talent of Susan Boyle does not counteract the fact that you're judging her solely on appearances.
Apr 7 2009 If you lend someone €20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
Mar 31 2009 I need a small child. I'm having technology issues.
